Stop Making it Seem Like Working Moms Have it Easy

My social media has been flooded the past few days with Stay at Home Mom posts.  Blog articles stating the disadvantages to being a SAHM.  Facebook posts about how hard they have it.

First, before I even go on, I would like to say I do FULLY agree that staying home all day everyday would be very rough.  And no, not everyone is cut out for it.

Many of the articles I read made very valid points.

• Most, if not all, recognized that being able to stay home with the little ones is a privilege.  This is so true, not everyone can afford to only have one income.  Or, in the case of the single mom, not have an income.
• Having very little adult interaction.  This too is very true.  When I was on maternity leave, I did find that I would sometimes crave an adult conversation after being home straight for an entire week.
• Not having a reason to wear “real/cute clothes.”  Another thing I also noticed while I was home for 3 months.  Most days, I would be lucky to wear something other than pj/yoga pants.  I would feel accomplished the days that I showered and put on jeans!
• Worrying about getting back into the work force.  This was one thing I was worried about when making the choice whether or not to stay home or go back to work.  If I took time off, do I have to start over at an entry level position when I go back?  Will employers be understanding as to why I took time off from working?

Points that the articles made that are true, but not just for SAHM:

• Not ever being able to have “me” time.  Agreed, SAHMs probably have little time for themselves, but the same goes for working moms.  It’s unfair to count our time at work as “me” time.  While I’m at work, I actually get very little time to myself.  Now that I’m a mother, I have to eat my lunch at my desk so that I can get out as early as possible to get home to my baby.  Going out to lunch is few and far between.  And even if I do go out to lunch, it’s with work colleagues.  It’s not like I am sitting around a table with my girlfriends having margaritas and gossiping.  Also, I feel that working moms have more guilt when they do take anytime to themselves.  Since I am away from my child 10.5 hrs a day, 5 days a week.  I feel guilty if I am not spending every available second with him.  How can I take a half an hour to an hour for myself to even work out?  That’s just more time I am not spending with him.  People may start to question why I bothered to have a child if I can’t spend an adequate amount of time with him.  The same goes for having a night out with my husband, that is just more time that the  babyis with someone else.  So SAHMs may not have as much time to themselves as they used to, but working moms don’t have time either.  Sometimes, I’m lucky to change out of my work clothes by 10pm.
• Being a SAHM is a 24/7 job.  This is a good point to make if you’re trying to justify why you are staying home to someone who doesn’t have a child.  But to us working moms, we get it.  Yes, we have a 40/50 hours a week job.  That job does end and we do get “off” days, but when we come home we start job #2.  Just because I’m working, it doesn’t magically make my house clean or the laundry done.  There is forever a pile of dishes piling up.  SAHMs may struggle with trying to keep up with all of their chores.  So do we.  The only difference is, SAHMs will probably feel more pressure to have all the chores caught up at any point.  I also feel compelled to keep up with the chores.  Chores take time away from m child.  See point above.  Chores are now my “me” time.  Chores are something that I have to get done while the baby naps/sleeps.

After reading some of the comments on these blog posts and on social media, I felt angry.  I know that was not the point of these comments and articles.  SAHMs do have it tough too.  All moms do.  Working moms are not looking down on SAHMs and saying they have it easy.  Some aspects may be easier because they are home, but it does create other obstacles.  I just want it to be known that working moms do not pick going back to work as a way to get out of raising their children.  It is hard working and being a mom.  Your work is never done.  Being a Mom in general is challenging, but it is the most rewarding challenge.

All moms are doing the best they can.  We all deserve some guilt free time to ourselves.