So before becoming a mother (a whole month ago!) I was a career woman. After maternity leave, I need to go back to my full time job. I would work anywhere from 40-60 hours a week depending on my workload.
Being naive, I assumed that picking a daycare would be a piece of cake. My only worry was to find out if there were waiting lists at the daycares in the area. I called the ones in my area before having the baby, and they all have openings. Perfect. Why not put this decision off and save it for “future me” to worry about.
With a just over a month until I go back to work, “future me” is now “present me” and I need to make a decision. I have a great deal of anxiety building up about this decision.
- How many days will he need to go each week? Right now, it’s looking like 5 days a week from about 7am – 6pm each day. Ouch, that’s a long time and really hard for me to swallow now that I have met my beautiful baby.
- How much will it cost per month? This has not changed since I had first called to find out about openings. The price varies from each daycare.
- Is the cost of daycare equivalent to the care provided? Should I not consider the cheapest option, because they are that cheap for a reason?
- How do I decide who is going to basically raise my child? Let’s face it, the staff is going to be around my baby more than I will. Of course when I visit everyone will be on their best behavior.
- Will they care about his development as much as I would? No. That’s an easy answer. Not to say they do not teach the children and was to see them succeed. But of course I will care more about his success then they will, no matter how attached they can get to him.
All of these questions have been racking my brain for the past few weeks. I didn’t realize how hard it was going to be to send him to daycare. There is a good chance that my husband and I are going to miss a lot of his “firsts.” That’s like a punch to the stomach. How is it that I had to carry him for nine months, and now I will out on most of his waking hours.
I know what you all are thinking….if this is how you feel- you need to be a stay at home mom. And believe me, the thought has crossed my mind as well. But is that really the best option for my son, or is it me being selfish because I want to be around him all of the time? My husband and I have always been a dual income household. Of course I would be nervous about losing one income. Even going down to part time, that would mean less money into savings. College costs are not getting any cheaper, and I want to be able to send him to school without him worrying about a massive amount of debt that will follow him around for half of his life.
Why can’t someone pay me to sit home and take care of my child all day? I’ve been told the first month back to work is the hardest, and then it gets easier. I sure hope everyone is right.
Isn’t it crazy to think that the decision of working/not working will make a huge difference in his life down the road. Do I stay home and spend as much time with him as possible. You can’t get time back. Or do I continue to work long hours and miss all of his milestones, so that he has a better chance at being comfortable when leaving college.
The struggle is real, and I’ll probably put off looking at daycares until after Thanksgiving.
I wish I had someone to make these hard decision for me!
Busy Momma Bear 